In this week’s post I’d like to venture once again into topics utterly unrelated to reading or writing, and instead share my hands-down favorite saying in psychology. It applies so well to so many situations.

If it smells like s**t everywhere you go, it might be you.

Think about that. Doesn’t it possess the unmistakable ring of profound psychological truth?

Bear with me as I provide an oral illustration. A few weeks ago I was in the waiting area at the dentist, about to see a new hygienist. A neighbor came out of the back room holding her cheek. She gave me a look that said her visit had been as much fun as a root canal (yes, it very well could have been a root canal given the setting, but it turns out she was just there for a cleaning.) In earshot of the hygienist, she said she was surprised it had hurt so much, especially since she felt she was doing a better-than-average job of taking care of her teeth. Brushing, flossing, obsessive whitening, the works. So I felt unusually trepidatious when I was called back. I’m not a nervous dental patient by any means, but there was something about the combination of new hygienist + obvious pain reaction of previous patient that made me as tense as a snowman in the sun.

I sat back in the chair while the hygienist chatted pleasantly and assembled her tools. Then it began. She selected the little pick that was originally designed to disembowel tiny people. I think she was supposed to apply it to my teeth, but instead she proceeded to shred my gums. I flinched and jumped every time that woman touched my nerve endings teeth. She obviously was not well versed in reading body language (or maybe she was trained to ignore the reactions of her torture victims), so I eventually waved feebly, indicating I needed a break. Finally noticing my discomfort, she said, “Gosh, it’s so strange. Everyone’s had such sensitive teeth lately.” I could only stare incredulously at her serene face while she slurped torrents of blood from my mouth with that sucking tool and rattled on about how I should floss more.

We’re all guilty of it. When we don’t get the grades we want, it must be our teachers’ fault. When coworkers all around us are being promoted and we aren’t, it must be favoritism. When other authors’ books garner a million 5-star reviews in a month and blast to the top of the Kindle paid list, they must be cheating. (Wait, did I just write that out loud?) Of course, it’s possible those things may be true. But then again, when the sixth patient that day is being “sensitive” after you’ve just gone Freddy Kreuger on their mouth, it might be time to take Michael Jackson’s advice and start with the wo/man in the little round dental mirror on a stick. **

So—the next time you’re tempted to blame someone or something else, take a sniff around. It just might be you.

**Tagged for the excessive overuse of 80s American cultural references in one sentence.